How to Develop Your Own Healthy Ego

                                      * How to Develop Your Own Healthy Ego * 

All your ability and personality show themselves in your ego. For many a man the ego work always at full power and for some it needs restraining. For most, it is as well to find and use some ego-boosting device. Your own ego-booster may be con nested with the way you dress, the way you express yourself. 

Your surroundings, some object which has symbolic value-or in some other way which  has a special, individual meaning, The ego can be attuned to mysterious forces beyond one's self Through your ego you can be guided toward an expression of yourself which reflects in your increased prosperity.   

I have spoken before and shall speak again on the need for knowing your own mind and going in your own direction. Now let us look at the ego , that invaluable mind spark-plug which my dictionary defines as " the self-assertive tendency of man."

People who have peace of mind also have healthy egos. Now , to some the term "healthy ego" brings to mind the pic true of a loud, back-slapping type of person. This may be so, but it is not necessarily so. Your ego as you reflect it to the world has been built for many years out of childhood influences, later influences and a great many other factors. Your ego is as individual as your fingerprints, and what is " healthy" to you will not be healthy for another man. 

Often ego seems to have a bit of vanity in it ; but it is far stronger and far more subtle than ordinary vanity. Think of your ego as an invisible part of yourself which makes you strong and resourceful, or puts obstacles in your way, according to the sort of influence you feed it.  
Even the greatest of mind now and then find themselves with a rundown ego. Truly great men feel this, and quickly restore their egos. The purpose of this chapter is to show you some of the surprisingly straight forward ego- boosters which others have used. and to give you an assortment out of which you may choose and perfect a tailor-made ego-booster of your own.

The ego that was stronger than a clean shirt and a shave. It is old advice and good advice to say that being well-dressed and well-groomed gives a boost to your ego. Now I want you to meet a man who  knew that very well but whose deeply adding ego was strong enough to raise above a clean shirt and a shave. 

The impact of this story will be stronger if I tell it in sequence as it came to me. It begins with my meeting  Edwin C. Barnes when he was Thomas Edison's business associate. 
Mr. Barnes at that time owned thirty-one expensively tailored suits and in the course of a month never wore one suit two days in a row. His shirts were made to order out of the most expensive fabrics available. His ties were made to order in Paris and cost at least twenty-five dollars apiece.

One day I suggested jokingly to Mr. Barnes that he let me know when he was ready to discard some of his suites so that I might wear them." I know you are kidding,  " Barnes said , " but you might like to know that at the time I decided to associate myself with Thomas  Edison, I didn't have the railroad fare to take me to East Orange, New Jersey , where I had to go to sell him the idea.

" My desire to get there was greater than my fear of the humiliation I would suffer by riding a freight train. I packed a suitcase -it didn't take long-and I traveled by boxcar.

" When I walked into Mr. Edison's office and said I wanted to see him, I heard a titter of laughter all over the place. Finally his secretary consented to let me see Mr. Edison. As soon as I faced the great inventor I started  telling him now fortunate he was that I was giving him the first chance at my how services. After I'd talked a while, he rose, walked all around me, looked me over with penetrating eyes, grinned and asked: ' what did you come to see me about, young man ? '

" That's how I discovered he was hard of hearing. Now I had to explain myself all over, loudly. My clothes were kled and dusty, my shoes were scuffed , I had a two days' growth of bread , and I almost lost courage. It is to Mr. Edison's credit that he did not judge me by my appearance. But I made up my mind, then and there, that never again would I stand before any man without knowing that I was better dressed than he.

" Now you see why I have all these clothes. And as far as my giving you my discards is concerned, I doubt. if you would get from them the same ego boost they give me."
 
He was right. I never have felt the need to bolster my ego by personal adornment, and I too am right, for ego is a strictly personal matter. During the early part of my career I did stimulate my ego with that large estate and those elegant cars. Later, when my work became widely accepted, I became content with a much simpler style of living. Yet I do not neglect my ego , which functions through my princes of Guidance.

Still, just like Mr. Barnes and so many others, I see myself reflecting long-ago experiences which I no longer wish to suffer. During my childhood I lived amid poverty and illit eracy, surrounded by poverty- stricken neighbors. Now I'm very sensitive to the "feel" of any neighbors in which I live and it must it be just right. I even inspect the approaches to my home to make sure they do not lead through any unpleasant areas.

You many find it instructive to look back at the early influ ences of your own life and see how much they may have to do with your actions now. Here are some questions to get you started. Think a while after each to make sure you have found the right answer..
As a child..

Did you have sufficient food, clothing and shelter?

If the answer is  No; was it insufficient by any reasonable standard of insufficient by some neighbors or other stan dard by which you have come to judge?
Did you parents, or someone else who had influence in your life, tend to belittle you and make you feel that your brother and sister or playmates were better or smarter than you?
Were you called basically bad when you misbehaved- or were your actions merely labeled as unacceptable?

If  you were bad by definition, did you decide you were going to live up to your badness ? 
Did you have sufficient schooling in the three R's so that you never had to feel inferior, later , about your Reading, writing and 'Rithmetic ?
Are you too short, too tall or too fat,  so that you feel con Spicuous? Are you exceptionally ill-favored as to appearance, or scarred or crippled ? 

How would you describe the general atmosphere in your childhood home ? peaceful ? Antagonistic ? clouded by worry? cheerful? Carelessly happy-go-lucky?

Did your parents quarrel in your presence?

Were you conscious of people using you as an " easy mark " or a " push -around " ? Were you fond of being the leader in games and clubs? Did you set up a symbol or success  early in life, such as " a big house like Mr. Jones's "  or a job traveling to glamorous places like Mr. Brown's "? 

Did your parents encourage you to accept responsibility- or were they overanxious to do everything for you? Were you forced to be so much on your own that you never felt you had anyone who really cared what happened to you?  Thinking about such questions will suggest many facets of your past which show themselves in your present actions. I do not suggest you worry about you past; remember, when we close the door on the past we close out a great deal which otherwise might hamper us. At times, however, an under standing of past influences helps you to appreciate and enjoy your present ways of  bucking up your ego.