BUILDING CONFIDENCE

                                    

A young couple used to leave their daughter at a day-care centre every day before going  to work. As they parted company, the parents and child kissed each other's hands and then put the kisses in their pockets. All during the day when the little girl got lonely she would take out a kiss and put it on her cheek. This little routine made them feel together even though they were physically apart. What a wonderful thought.

What Makes a Child a Delinquent ?

♦ Teach him to put a price tag on everything and he will put his integrity for sale.

♦ Teach him never to take a stand and then he will fall for anything.  

** From The Moral Compass, edited by William J. Bermett, Simon 8~ Schuster,
New York, 1995.

♦ Make him believe that winning is not everything. It is the only thing and he will make every effort to win by hook or by crook.

♦ Give a child everything he wants right from infancy and he will grow up believing that the world owes him a living and everything will be handed to him on a platter.

♦ When he picks up bad language, laugh at him. This will make him think he is cute.

♦ Don't ever give him any moral or ethical values. Wait until he is 21 and let him "determine his own."

♦ Give him choices without direction. Never teach him that every choice has a consequence.

 ♦ Never tell him he is wrong, he might develop a complex. This will condition him to believe that society is against him when he gets arrested for doing something wrong.

♦ Always pick up things that he leaves lying around--books, shoes, clothes, etc. Do everything for him so that he will learn to push all responsibilities onto others.

♦ Let him read, watch and hear anything he wants. Be careful what he feeds his body, but let his mind feed on garbage.

♦ In order to be popular with his peers, he must go along to get along.
 
♦ Quarrel frequently when he is present. This way he won't be surprised when things fall apart at home.

♦ Give him as much money as he wants. Never teach him respect for or the value of money. Make sure he does not have things as tough as you did.

♦ Provide instant gratification for all sensual desires such as food, drink, comfort.  Deprivation can cause frustration.

 ♦ Side with him against neighbours, teachers, etc., as they are prejudiced against him.

♦ When he gets into real trouble, excuse yourself by saying, "I tried my best but could never do anything with him."

♦ Don't put your foot down because you believe discipline takes away freedom.

♦ Prefer remote control to parental control in order to teach independence.

♦ What children get, they give to society.

 * CHILDREN LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE *

If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.

If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate.

If a child lives with hostility, he learns tonight.

If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient.

If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.

If a child lives with encouragement, he learns confidence.

If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty.

If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself.

If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice.

If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith.

If a child lives with acceptance and friendship,

he learns to find love in the world.

 * Education *

Being ignorant is not shameful, but being unwilling to learn is. Role models can teach  through example. Children who are taught the importance of integrity during their formative years generally don't lose it. It becomes a part of life, which is what we are looking for in any profession, whether in a contractor, attorney, accountant, politicians police officer, or judge. Integrity is a lot stronger than honesty. In fact, it is the foundation of honesty.

 Youths are impressionable. When they see their mentors--such as parents, teachers, or political leaders--cheating with pride or bragging about petty dishonesty such as stealing a towel in a hotel or cutlery from the restaurants, the following happens :-

♦ They are disappointed.

♦ They lose respect for their mentors.

♦ Constant exposure breeds acceptance in them.

POOR ROLE MODELS * 

A schoolteacher asked a little boy what his father did for a living. The boy replied,  "I'm not sure, but I guess he makes pens, pencils, light bulbs, toilet rolls, etc., because that is what he brings home every day in his lunch box.

 * Making Unfair Comparison * 

Fair comparisons are OK but unfair comparisons make a person feel inferior.  Comparison basically brings out the competitive spirit to outperform the next person.People with high self-esteem don't compete with others; instead, they improve their own performance. They compete against themselves. They compare their performance against their capabilities...